You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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