in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
