found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize