Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Also, beer. Big fan.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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