Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My breasts were aching with rage.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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