Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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