I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
