Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize