You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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