Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
i think i just naturally attract stoners
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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