i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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