How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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