Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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