i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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