Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
