Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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