Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My pussy is not your playground.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
