We're like a lot better than the average bears
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
