So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
