**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Randomize