I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize