Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize