I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you win again, gameday.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
