Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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