Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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