News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Ladies don't puke and tell
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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