I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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