here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Sober January is a disaster.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
