he thought i was a dude.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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