yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
