Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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