dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
