I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize