need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
