I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
she pinky promised me she was 18
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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