as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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