school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You are a genius and a whore.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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