oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
there is puke in my bra ... again
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
