I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
