Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
