We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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