i always forget guys have bellybuttons
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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