I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
