I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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