Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
