I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
