so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i drank out of a bidet.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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