She's JV to your varsity
I'm eating all of the evidence.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize