"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
