Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
wow bdsm is so cute
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
