Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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