There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
