You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
