Moan for me like Helen Keller
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
