You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My liver just broke up with me...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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