I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
