Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
