I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
