apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
