Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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