in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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