: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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