i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize