I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
