Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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