Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
