i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Randomize
