Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
