is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
They have beer where we have blood.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
