Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
3 2 1 whiskey
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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