Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
