It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
