I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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