it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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